by Lisa Baxter
It came at the end of a weekend at Mindcamp where more questions were raised than answered. I was in a state of mental flux… not in a bad way, especially not after a half-day workshop with Bill Sturner. But what I think was special about the timing of this encounter was that I came to the labyrinth with an open heart and an open mind, and my experience of it was profound.
So, to the question.
My question for the labyrinth was to find a way of demolishing the “force field” I’ve erected around myself which prevents people’s words or sentiments of love reaching me in a way that I can truly feel them, and which prevents me from truly being able to express myself — fully, in a way that is heartfelt and authentic and emotional.
As I began to walk, a little mantra went round and round in my head: “demolish the force field, demolish the force field, demolish the force field.”
It didn’t work.
Then I mellowed and the mantra became “melt the force field, melt the force field…”
That didn’t work.
I was nearly at the centre, wanting my big “aha” moment, and nothing was working. And then an amazing thing happened…
At the centre, I breathed deeply, picked up the blue stones and… let go…
… and as I let go I continued to breathe and began to notice my breath.
The act of breathing became the act of what I wanted to achieve — letting people in, expressing myself out, in, out, (“in out you shake it all about”… you see Joe, that song at the end was sooooooo special because it was the song of my labyrinth experience, at it came from you, not me!!!).
As I breathed, my mind took me to all the people I’ve loved and I visualized the loving entering me as I inhaled, and my love pouring out as I exhaled.
I’m in the second half of the labyrinth now. I’m walking faster. I’m smiling. The answer is so simple — it’s as simple as breathing. I leave the labyrinth with an understanding and experiencing of myself without my force field… and it’s beautiful.
And now, a few weeks on, all I have to do is to keep me “in” the world of emotion, sharing and giving is to consciously experience my breath — in, out, in, out — and it’s changed EVERYTHING.
For Joe, my Labyrinth Guardian and Okie Cokie Partner.
Lisa Baxter came to Mindcamp in 2010 and 2011. She wrote this letter personally to Joe Miguez, and they both graciously gave permission for it to be shared here. We look forward to welcoming Lisa back to Mindcamp in 2013… and of course, there will be an amazing Labyrinth to greet her when she arrives.